Epic Fail

As some of you may know, Gears of War 2’s online play had a bit of a rocky start. The matchmaking took forever to work, certain weapons didn’t function properly, the amount of known exploitable glitches was just astronomical, and the every match lagged like the host was on Mars. Still, one thing I could praise it for, no matter how faint, was it’s interface. So why exactly is the new deleted chapter, “Road to Ruin”, setup in the most unintuitive and convoluted way possible? They could have just used the tools they already had, the ones that are already in use within the same game!

To summarize, Epic released a deleted section from the game and included all the previous downloadable multiplayer maps in a bundle last week. I assume the maps were just added like normal, but the deleted scene is now selectable as a new part of the first layer of the menu. Now, in addition to Single Player, Multiplayer, Horde, and whatever else, there is one that just says Deleted Scene. The little description on the right says something along the lines of playing a previously unreleased chapter in the campaign alone or with a friend. This makes me think it’d take me to another menu allowing me to choose if I wanted to play single player or co-op. Instead, it let me choose my difficulty and dumped me right into a video of CliffyB discussing the chapter. Once I actually got into the game I was immediately shown a cutscene followed by a choice between playing through the section stealthily or the regular way of guns a blazing. Once these crucial parts of the chapter were over and done with I was finally able to invite Slevin to join and play with me. That means in order to play co-op with a friend; the friend has to miss the opening scene and isn’t allowed to weigh in on whether or not he wants to play stealthily or not.

Who the hell play tested this thing? They could have just as easily used the same exact system for starting a regular co-op game for this. It is already created and on the freaking disc! It isn’t over yet though, it gets worse. On our first playthrough we both started up the chapter in order to see the opening and we both picked insane. I then invited Slevin to join my game so he left his. After finishing the stealthy way, which I’ll hate on in a minute, we decided to replay it the other way. Being the achievement whores that we are, we figured we’d do it on Casual just to check it out and to get an easy 25 points. Before Slevin had made the game I had already restarted on Insane just to see if the guns blazing route was through the same area. It was, but when I left it to join Slevin’s game on Casual it left my difficulty on Insane. In the regular co-op campaign before the match starts, both players are allowed to pick their difficulty. It can be different, which is a pretty awesome feature, but since no lobby exists for the deleted chapter, I figured only the host picked the difficulty. I guess this is not the case because I got absolutely wrecked playing it the second time on what was supposed to be Casual. Am I crazy or is that the most ridiculous method for choosing the difficulty that you’ve ever heard? In order to pick a different setting from the host you have to start your own game with the difficulty you want, then abandon it and accept the hosts invite.

I never thought a games freaking start menu would be bad enough for me to write almost a page long rant, but good god was this frustrating. To make matters even worse, the stealth method of play is the most retarded gameplay addition to the Gears universe since the car that only had enough power to move OR run a spotlight. It firmly established for video games what I have always believed about deleted scenes in movies. That is, they were deleted for a reason! The stealth mechanics consisted of not getting within smelling range of the Locust and waiting for a gap in their fixed patrol routes. A couple times there would be a “cause a block to drop and distract a large group of enemies” puzzle, if you can call it a puzzle, and once there was an alternate route. That was it.

I don’t know what happened to Epic, but they went from being one of my favorite shooter developers to being a company that makes be question their intelligence on a fairly regular basis. Between the way Unreal Tournament 3 was handled and the shitfest that was the Gears 2 launch, I wonder what anyone at that company is thinking. This deleted scene just tops it all off. It isn’t really a big deal, but if you are going to charge money for something, you might as well apply the good resources you’ve already developed to it. The whole thing was just handled unimaginably bad and there is absolutely no reason for it. Come on guys!