Disconnected

I was playing some Left4Dead with some buddies of mine a couple weeks ago in a computer lab on campus. We got the wonderful idea to get a little inebriated first because honestly, what could possibly be better than shotgunning zombies while under the influence. Turns out shotgunning zombies while sober was the better option. This wasn’t the first time I’ve played video games while intoxicated so I knew I wasn’t going to like it, but I did anyway. For whatever reason I never really liked playing games without a clear head and I think I’ve finally figured out why.

Part of what makes games so interesting is feeling that I am the avatar I am controlling. This immersive feeling comes in large part due to my ability to control him or her without thinking about it. Generally the first few minutes of every game is awkward, or there is a boring tutorial to sit through, but good intuitive controls can be picked up quickly enough. Once I have them down I am no longer pressing A to jump and right trigger to fire, I no longer think about it in these terms. I can’t imagine any other avid gamer does either; you’d never be able to get remotely decent at these games while constantly thinking about what button you have to press next. Once everything falls into place my fingers subconsciously do what my mind wants, they know where the buttons are from hours of use and I can seamlessly control the avatar.

This is where the inebriation becomes a problem. While playing Left4Dead, for large parts of the night I could not get to that point. I had already played the game a few times before so the controls were committed to memory despite my general lack of PC gaming experience. I just couldn’t consistently play without thinking about my hands. Any time I had to crouch I thought Ctrl, when I went to heal a teammate I had to make sure I wasn’t actually healing myself right next to him. My aim was pretty terrible as well. I guess I have another rule to add to the list of things not to do/rely on during an actual zombie apocalypse. I’ll save the substance abuse until after we get to safety. ;)

Playing poorly isn’t what bothers me, I can still have a great time while failing miserably at something, especially if I’m drunk. :) What makes gaming like that so bad is the disconnect I feel from the avatar. I’m not playing as him, I’m controlling him through a keyboard or gamepad, and I’m doing it poorly at that. This leads me to feel like I’m doing some stunted version of gaming that doesn’t feel natural. I think that’s why I don’t enjoy gaming while plastered. Though I did have a pretty hilarious time chainsawing people while playing Gears 2 awhile back. Turns out you don’t have to be able to see straight to do that.