Disconnected

I was playing some Left4Dead with some buddies of mine a couple weeks ago in a computer lab on campus. We got the wonderful idea to get a little inebriated first because honestly, what could possibly be better than shotgunning zombies while under the influence. Turns out shotgunning zombies while sober was the better option. This wasn’t the first time I’ve played video games while intoxicated so I knew I wasn’t going to like it, but I did anyway. For whatever reason I never really liked playing games without a clear head and I think I’ve finally figured out why.

Part of what makes games so interesting is feeling that I am the avatar I am controlling. This immersive feeling comes in large part due to my ability to control him or her without thinking about it. Generally the first few minutes of every game is awkward, or there is a boring tutorial to sit through, but good intuitive controls can be picked up quickly enough. Once I have them down I am no longer pressing A to jump and right trigger to fire, I no longer think about it in these terms. I can’t imagine any other avid gamer does either; you’d never be able to get remotely decent at these games while constantly thinking about what button you have to press next. Once everything falls into place my fingers subconsciously do what my mind wants, they know where the buttons are from hours of use and I can seamlessly control the avatar.

This is where the inebriation becomes a problem. While playing Left4Dead, for large parts of the night I could not get to that point. I had already played the game a few times before so the controls were committed to memory despite my general lack of PC gaming experience. I just couldn’t consistently play without thinking about my hands. Any time I had to crouch I thought Ctrl, when I went to heal a teammate I had to make sure I wasn’t actually healing myself right next to him. My aim was pretty terrible as well. I guess I have another rule to add to the list of things not to do/rely on during an actual zombie apocalypse. I’ll save the substance abuse until after we get to safety. ;)

Playing poorly isn’t what bothers me, I can still have a great time while failing miserably at something, especially if I’m drunk. :) What makes gaming like that so bad is the disconnect I feel from the avatar. I’m not playing as him, I’m controlling him through a keyboard or gamepad, and I’m doing it poorly at that. This leads me to feel like I’m doing some stunted version of gaming that doesn’t feel natural. I think that’s why I don’t enjoy gaming while plastered. Though I did have a pretty hilarious time chainsawing people while playing Gears 2 awhile back. Turns out you don’t have to be able to see straight to do that.

Left 4 Dead

We miraculously made it this far, but we all knew the worst was yet to come. We made it to the river and the rumors are true. There is a boat ready to pick us up; we just have to endure a little longer. Surviving one last onslaught is all we need to do. After much debate we decide on a small bathroom somewhat close to the dock. It is incredibly cramped; especially considering there will be four of us with guns a blazing in here shortly, but it is the best bottleneck we can find. After much preparation we stuff ourselves in while Francis radios the boat to come pick us up.

He barely makes it back to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him as he enters. Francis is still panting as the first wave assaults the door. The door lasts mere seconds between the relentless zombies and our auto shotguns. Minutes pass and our position seems strong. None of us has moved more than an inch since the attack began, but no undead have crossed the bathroom doorframe yet. We might just survive this after all.

Everything is quiet. How quickly they let up. Is it over? Oh no, that sound…. It’s a Tank! It’s too late, we are all still in the bathroom, we can’t get out! Everyone unloads everything they have, but the giant won’t go down. I hear Louis’ bones crack as the Tank takes him down. Oh god, not Louis. The Tank is still coming strong. His backhand catches me and flings me over Bill and into the wall. Ow, I’m okay, but damn that hurt. Francis draws its attention next, I watch horrified as he is pounded into oblivion, all the while Bill is firing his gun like mad. Francis doesn’t make it, but his sacrifice is not in vain. The Tank falls to the ground, down for the count. Bill takes a deep breath as he helps me up; we aren’t out of this yet.

The two of us fend off another giant horde, how did this many people get infected this fast? A boomer blinds me, but the cramped situation allows me to fire blindly into the door regardless. A smoker grabs Bill, but quickly falls under our hail of fire.

Finally, wounded but still standing, we hear the boat alert us of its arrival. We look at each other and simultaneously sprint toward the boat. Five feet out of the bathroom and a hunter nails me. I see Bill take off running without me, the coward! Oh god, I am going to die, the hunter is ripping me to pieces! At least Bill will make it; I can see the boat coming in!

I watch through blurry dying eyes as Bill makes one last rush down the dock. He dives headfirst into the hull of the boat and falls into the water. As my vision fades, I see Bill being mauled by at least a dozen zombies. It was all for naught….
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OH COME ON! We were so close! Why the hell would you jump into the front of a moving boat instead of onto it! Who does that?! In the event of an actual zombie apocalypse I know which roommate I’m leaving for dead… JOE!
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